My Homemade Smoked Relish

I was craving a good burger relish - like the kind Hutch's used to serve - so I did the obvious: made my own. 

Chopped green pepper, red pepper, pickles, cucumber, red onion, dill, garlic, and parsley. 

Tossed with cider vinegar, olive oil, mustard, and honey. 

And then smoked for three hours. 

There really is no substitute for making something like this from scratch. 

It was fantastic just by itself. 

But of course I wasn't going to eat it just by itself. 

First, I ate it on a cracker with some cheese. 

And then I made the burger. And it was great. 

But the true masterpiece was the sandwich I made the next day. 

More on that tomorrow. 

The Craziest Restaurant Bill I Have Had In Years

 

This was the third time I have visited Derailed Pour House in 2024. Every single thing I ate on my previous two trips was delicious. And they have Mountain Time on tap. 

So after I got drunk at another bar while watching perhaps my favorite live bar performer I have ever seen, I decided to get dinner. 

(And another beer.) 

I had two of the pork tacos: "Our famous house smoked pulled pork, BBQ sauce, cheddar, pickled red onions, spicy slaw, fresh cilantro, scallions, cilantro dill ranch."

They were freaking fantastic. And I got a side of their waffle chips, which I love. 

The total was $17, 

"Is this right?" I asked the bartender. "You can't even go to McDonald's for $17." 

She said the tacos are two for $6 on Wednesday, and they only charged me for a side order of chips. 

I think she also gave a reason for the beer only being $5, but I was pretty drunk and don't remember. 

The next day, on the drive home, I stopped for lunch at Popeyes and it was $18. 

And I didn't even have a beer.

East By Southwest

I had avoided this place in all of my previous trips to Durango and I don't have a particularly good reason why, except that over the last decade I have developed an aversion to places that label themselves "fusion." (Far more often than not, it just means that they aren't great at any one kind of food, so they try to be good at multiple.) 

But I walked around town for at least twenty minutes, trying to decide what sounded good for lunch and, as usual, Asian did. So I decided to give it a shot.

The smoked duck spring rolls were delicious. 

The "Vampiro" was fantastic: shrimp tempura, spicy tuna, tuna sashimi, sriracha, red onions, crispy garlic, spicy yuzu dressing.

The "Chieko San" was interesting but not as good as it sounded: hamachi, cream cheese, cucumber, scallion, lime zest fried spring roll skin, wasabi tobbiko, wasabi honey.

(The waiter had told me that it is "sweet & savory, kind of like a dessert and meal in one.")

I will definitely return here, but I won't be getting that last roll again.

I Have No Desire To Be Buried

But my God, can you imagine a more beautiful place than this? 

Sports Weekend Eating

 FRIDAY DINNER: WORLD SERIES GAME 1

I didn't watch Game 1 of the World Series. 

Seriously. 

There has only been one other time in my adult life that I have missed Game 1 of the World Series: October 28, 2009, thanks to one-day-old Lucy scoring me some concert tickets. 

That's a long story, but this one is a little shorter:

A few weeks ago, the wife of one of my coworkers told me about a new play in which she is starring and asked if I would be willing to put together a happy hour and outing to the theater. I said sure and suggested Friday the 24th. 

It did not occur to me that Game 1 of the World Series would be scheduled for that night. 

Fortunately, I did not miss a good game. 

And I had Coors Banquet and cheese & crackers, which are always nice. 

 SATURDAY BREAKFAST: UCLA @ INDIANA

After starting 0-4 and looking like the worst UCLA team of all time, the Bruins won 3 straight. 

Not surprisingly, many people in the media are calling them “one of the hottest teams in America.”

Look… the three teams they just beat have a combined conference record of 1-11. 

There is nothing impressive about beating three bad teams. 

Indiana is REALLY good. They just won on the road at Oregon, which hardly anyone ever does. 

I am going to watch some of this game, but I expect Indiana to win by 20+ points. 

But that doesn't mean I can't eat great food. For breakfast, a fried chicken biscuit with coffee, bacon, and jalapeño jam*. 

[Update: Indiana won by 50.]

 SATURDAY SNACK: MISSOURI @ VANDERBILT

Simply Ruffles and onion dip.*

 SATURDAY DINNER: WORLD SERIES GAME 2

My friend Angela came back from vacation in Ohio with a jar of Frisch's tartar sauce. She claimed it's the best she's ever had. 

It's not the best I have ever had - The Crab Cooker and Fish King are both better - but it's definitely the best I have ever had out of a jar. No question about that. 

Angela told me that I had to try it on a burger with no other condiments, so I did, on a brisket burger (on a Trader Joe's brioche bun) with lettuce, tartar sauce, and nothing else. 

It was very good, but I felt like it needed something else - grilled onions, or maybe pickles. 

By the way, I have now lived long enough to see the Jonas Brothers perform at halftime... of a World Series game. 

What a world. 

 SUNDAY BREAKFAST: THE EARLY GAMES KIND OF SUCKED

I watched Fox NFL Sunday but wasn't really into any of the early games.

I love hash browns and love carrots and sweet potatoes, so I figured this root vegetable version would be good. 

It was merely okay.

 SUNDAY LUNCH: COWBOYS @ BRONCOS

Beer pretzels from Whole Foods and beer mustard from the L.A. Farmer's Market.

And the Cowboys getting their asses kicked. 

What a great afternoon. 

 SUNDAY DINNER: PACKERS @ STEELERS

Pepperoni lavash pizza with cilantro-onion hot sauce.*

Good weekend. Not epic, but plenty of fun. 

*These all were purchased in Durango last week.

Autumn in the San Juans

I have been to Southwestern Colorado four times in the last three years, but not in October for its legendary explosion of aspen, cottonwood, and oak trees.

So I had planned to go the first week of October. 

But my dad collapsed and cut his head open, which is becoming an annual event. He only spent one day in the hospital - unlike the two weeks in 2024 - but he was in a lot of pain and had to use a walker for several days, so I cancelled my trip. 

I finally made it last week, two weeks later than I had hoped to visit, and the trees were past their peak. 

But they were still beautiful. 

I understand the appeal of New England in October; I've done it twice myself. It is classic Americana. 

But these colors, on the western slope of the Continental Divide, between 6,000 and 14,000 feet, while perhaps not more majestic, are certainly more my style.