SeaPak Lobster & Shrimp Bites

This purports to contain, lobster, shrimp, cheese, and shallots. 

I did not taste any of that. 

Not even the cheese. 

These sucked. 

Hot Ones Boneless Spicy Garlic Chicken Bites

 

Wow, these sucked. More than a decade ago, I got boneless wings at 7-Eleven to see how bad they were. 

They were way better than this. 

Lay's Sweet & Spicy Honey

 

I'm not a big fan of spicy honey but these were pretty good. 

Jack's Spicy Chicken

Once upon a time, I loved this sandwich so much. 

I still get one every year or so to see if I still do. 

I do not. 

I still like it just fine. 

But the love is gone. 

Fritos Nashville Hot

The seasoning is indeed quite spicy, so I will give them props for that. 

Unfortunately, it was also metallic-tasting. 

These sucked.

There's Probably a Better Bottled Blue Cheese Dressing Somewhere

 

But as long as Bob's Big Boy keeps selling theirs, I feel no need to find out. 

The Last of My Schreiner's Applesauce Sausages

To be honest, I am surprised they lasted me this long. 

Fake Lucky Boy

Chinese food? 

Please. 

Turkey Chorizo Breakfast Tacos

None for you, Poop Dog!

Goldfish Crisps Salt & Vinegar

I loved these. 

Cheetos Buffalo

I love buffalo flavor when it's in a sauce but rarely when it is added to a solid product. It's hard to explain. 

But I loved these. The best flavor of Cheetos I think I have ever had. 

As the Sun Come Over the Valley

I believe
I like the way
I like your face from the left side

As you go
As you go stepping out queen

Friday Afternoon in a Lowrider Bar

When I Was a Cowboy Out on the Western Plains

 

A Medio Litro of Mexican Coke in the East Mountains in Early Spring

Sometimes this hits the spot and nothing else will do. 

Churro Cakes, Cold Beer, and the Dodgers on Sunday Night Baseball

 

Flavortown Sauces

I stopped making jokes about Guy Fieri more than a decade ago. There is no sport in it and besides, the man has carved out a very respectable career. Whether I like his persona or not, the fact is indisputable: enough people do. 

So when I heard that he was launching his own line of bottled sauces, I shrugged. I made his "Donkey Sauce" years ago and found it to be a quite tasty version of an aioli. And then I saw it on sale at Walmart and decided to try a bottle. 

As well as two others: Honey Mustard, as I am always willing to try a new honey mustard, and Mop Sauce, because ditto. 

For the first 15 years of the century, my favorite sandwich in the San Gabriel Valley was the Smoked Turkey Sandwich at Matt Denny's Ale House in Arcadia. (It has been gone from the menu for many years.) 

I smoked some turkey tenderloins and tossed them with the mop sauce. 

It is fantastic. Better than I ever could have hoped for. 

The Donkey Sauce is good, though not as good as the homemade version, of course. 

The Honey Mustard is insipid. 

I will not buy either of these again. 

But I will be buying lots of the Mop Sauce. 

Navajo Mike's Southwest Style BBQ Sauce

 

One of the best barbecue sauces I have ever had. It's made in Arizona but not available locally, which means it has to be ordered online, which means it's too expensive to buy on a regular basis. 

But it's so delicious that I have no doubt it will become more widely available. 

Marie's Roasted Garlic Aioli

 

This is one of the best aioli I have ever purchased in a bottle. I like to mix it with some additional freshly-ground black pepper. 

Pollo Campero Tomato Sauce Ketchup Style

 

About 15 years ago, my then-girlfriend and I went to Pollo Campero - a Guatemalan fast food chain legendary for their chicken - in Burbank a couple of times. (It was the closest location to Pasadena.)

It was good but nothing special and after those first two visits, I never returned. (I have heard from people who have eaten at Pollo Campero in Central America that it is better there.) 

It had been many years since I had thought about the place, actually. Until I saw this ketchup for sale in a market a few weeks ago. 

It is fantastic. It is a thinner sauce and sweeter than most ketchups. 

I have bought six bottles in the last couple of months. I usually use it with breakfast, but every once in a while I dip my fries into it. 

Good & Gather Dipping Sauces

Good & Gather is Target's food-related brand. I bought these three sauces because they all sounded interesting. 

I have to give Target credit: The "Spicy Dill Pickle" and "Hot Honey with Crisp Chili" were shockingly spicy. I mean, too spicy to be enjoyable. 

I seriously doubted that either would be remotely spicy, and I was spectacularly wrong. 

I can't be made that they were spicy, as advertised, but I won't be buying those two again. 

The only one of these I might get again is the triple garlic aioli. It was quite enjoyable - bursting with garlic flavor. 

Chicago Johnny's Midwestern Cherry Bourbon Barbecue Sauce

 

I bought this on Amazon and will get right to the point: It is delicious. 

This burger was good but not as good as... 

Slow cooker brisket tacos.

BBQ chicken lavash was good, but not as good as... 

BBQ brisket lavash with the leftover brisket. 

And a slice of spring Funfetti cake because why not?