The Original Gummy Burrito and Two Life Lessons

 

"I love gummy burritos," she said. 

"That's because you're Mexican," I said. 

(Author's Note 1: This is not something you should say to a Colombian woman.) 

"I love Maggie," she said. 

"That's because you're both old, brown, and worthless," I said. 

(Author's Note 2: See Author's Note 1.)